Jamie Doom...

Friday, November 07

Why?

I have found since I have been living on the Island of Hainan that my ear and nose hair is growing at an alarming and equally adverse rate to the hair on my head. I don’t know if something in my diet or the tropical humidity, but this is phenomenon that is becoming a more certain reality with each passing week. I don’t ever recall noticing hair around my ears in the States. Granted they are white and fine, but still. I don’t know much; but sheesh, I’m twenty-eight years old. I shouldn’t be worrying about sprouting nasal and ear shrubbery until I’m at least fifty. It is more than a little disturbing. Plucking hurts. It’s a full time job trying to take positive action against the gangs of renegade follicles that have migrated from the perfectly suitable living quarters known as The Top of My Head to become Dwellers of the Ear and Nose Caves. And they move there to do what? To sprout out at the worst times, scaring away small children and beautiful Chinese girls, is what. What did I do to deserve this? Am I being punished for something? I used to make fun of my grandfather’s old European bushy brow sensibilities. Maybe that’s why. I don’t know if I can blame this on

China

. Maybe it’s my time—my lot in life --to be a bushy nosed Slovak looking fella. I haven’t noticed excessive nasal and audio canal hair in the other good people of Hainan, but I haven’t exactly been looking. I take heed to the whole, “worry about pruning the foliage sprouting in your own nose before you point out someone else’s bit of grass." I’ll be sure to keep you all up to date. And…I thank you (and to think I find myself still single...unbelievable).